an ode to when i outsmarted my friend

background: i work at the international office. a friend of mine works as an assistant for a course in another town in finland. yesterday she says that tomorrow (today) she’ll call me at my office and ask tough questions, just for fun.

in the morning, i receive the following sms from her:

just get up. maybe you’ll have an especially nice working day ahead of you. i’m at the office.

i get to work. i notice she’s online and the next thing i know the phone rings. i wonder who THAT is.

thomas [in swedish]: the international office.

A [in swedish]: hi, this is A and i’m a doctoral student, and i, was wondering about…a course. that i want to take.
i realize it’s not my friend, so it must be some of the course participants calling for her, trying to fool me!

thomas: i see. well ain’t that nice.

A: yes, and this course…well how do i get on about it?

thomas: right…well this “course”, why don’t you tell me the name of the course to begin with?

A: it’s a…political… analytical… [silence]

thomas: yeah right…

A [silence, then laughter in the background]: it’s…[A says a complete name, i forgot what]. it’s in sweden.

thomas: ok. you just appear there then.

A: that’s it?

thomas: if there’s a problem, tell them thomas from the international office said it’s alright.

A: ok…

thomas: anyway, why do you have to continue studying? you know åbo akademi university much rather employs a person holding a master’s degree, since they’ve got lower salary grades!

A: i, well…

thomas: can’t you just get a decent job? i’ve heard that where i live, cleaners quit quite often. maybe you should start there.

A: …i, oh. but i want to go to this course.

thomas: you just go there. no problems. alright? bye.

A: ok..bye.

ha! quite smart of her to let her friend call! however, i was sure it was a joke. the dialect sounded similar to friend’s, and she just didn’t seem to know who she really was and what she wanted, not to mention the giggling from both her and “someone” in the background. an hour later A calls again though. this time i decide to try to give a correct answer 🙂

A: hi, this is A, i was just wondering about the course. is it really that easy?

thomas: well, i’m not sure actually. let me think. i think that…i guess that really, maybe some doctoral students do it on their own but maybe the international office can coordinate something as well. if you want i can find out more?

A: yes, i would like to know.

thomas: ok then, i’ll find out. can you call me again later?

— calls again, later —

thomas: now i have an answer. most doctorate students go wherever they want as so called “free movers” but then they need to arrange everything themselves. grants can be applied for from jubileumsfonden but they have spent their funds until january. the other option is to go within the coimbra network that we coordinate.

A: but why should i use the coimbra network?

thomas: good question. i don’t know. maybe through the network you’ll, thanks to quotas, gain access to some courses that otherwise would be impossible to attend. perhaps some grants also are possible, i know at least that’s the case with nordplus.

A: ok, thank you.

thomas: ok, bye!

so, you see, after all i could give a valuable answer to that silly question my friend invented. good to know in case a real doctoral student calls me. when i finally called my friend, she said:

i don’t know A. i had nothing to do with it.

i felt ashamed, and the sweat of shame oozed from my temple. THE DOCTORAL STUDENT WAS REAL!! if this won’t get me fired, nothing ever will.

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